when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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