I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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