We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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