why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
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She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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