And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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