yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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