so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
worst night to have a conscience
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
