Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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