My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
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My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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