How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
