it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
