I think my fart just growled at me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
