Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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