Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
