Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
