Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize