His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
