Pants 0. Shit 1.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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