I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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