so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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