Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
