I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
