Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
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you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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