Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
