Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
