If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
