Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
