u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
