i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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