If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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