you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
