Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
