This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
