OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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