Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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