Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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