It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
smell my finger.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize