id be glad to
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
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My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
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Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
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