My liver just broke up with me...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
