White coat. Heels.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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