im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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