But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
