guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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