You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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