You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex