We're facebook friends in real life
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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