STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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