just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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