You can't special order awesome
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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