Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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