Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
