just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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