The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
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Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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