we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
