bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They took my balls.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
