sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride