this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?